Since I love you, I’m letting you go…..

I loved you
I still love you
I will continue to love you.

Once picture-perfect scenery
will now be overlapped by the harsh reality,
just like star-crossed lovers
we cannot be together.
The pain and the happiness.
All end up in the same place

Within every infinity we promised,
I never doubted you or our future
Remember our plans we made?

I will save these happy memories
and store them deeply within my heart
Maybe there isn’t a happy ending
For every fairy tale out there,
Maybe I’m not the one you need

I’m jealous all the time
Without an explanation,
I must leave
Without another word,
I must live on
Without you,
I must learn to love myself

I must tell you
“you’re in love with a boy who doesn’t love himself”
It’s just a pain and heal cycle.
Every time I hear a romantic song,
It reminds me of you,
Every time I wake up,
I think about you
Every time I daydream,
I imagine our future

Call me a helpless romantic
but I lived desperately for you
A princess will always be waiting
for her prince charming,
you’ll always be mine

three words.
two words.
one word.


I wasn’t stupid, I realized that I was preventing her from being around her fellows. I was banishing her from everything she knew. From a comfortable future. From money and opportunity. From all who was oh-so-fucking enchanted with her.
From Love.
I was ruining her life. Because, I was just rubbish.

Always & Forever
Love more, spread Love

The Ruffian

He tried, She failed!

The last chapter, the last letter, the last call, of a journey Always and Forever. The Diversions. Love broken brick by brick.

The Only Beautiful Girl,
My Elisha
Till far in my life, what I have understood is that the destiny gives you the target, and you put your efforts to achieve that. And look, how destiny played with us.

I never thought I would have to write this. By the time you read this, I will be far away. Ever since we met, we have been close. We found in each other a close friend. We have always been there for each other, listening, advising, guiding. There was a deep connection – one that goes far beyond friendship.

You knew everything about me – my past, my hopes, my dreams. Likewise, I knew everything about you. We were not alone around the same time for a while. We were best friends with our respective partners. However, we both realized that neither any one of us was ideal – we were both unhappy, we knew all about the other’s issues and problems.

Earlier, everything happened to be simple, easy because we did not had questions for us. Time passed, almost a year and a half. Through so many twist and turns, ups and downs, smiles and tears, we made our way. This year and a half was full of so many sacrifices but yes, it was also full of smiles, bonding, connections, love and care. Many times, I was your shoulder to cry on. You listened to me when I needed you to. We became closer through discussing our problems. We both needed a connection – the need to be happy. We found that with each other. And we crossed a number of lines. We developed a mutual attraction, and it was inevitable we would have an affair. We knew it would destroy many things, but we couldn’t stop.

Over the past year, we began to grow more intimate – taking things slowly, secret meetings, lunch and dinners. We grew our relationship and our friendship. Our mutual attraction, respect and trust grew into a deep love, but it was a love we could never realize while we were together.

I want nothing more than for you to be happy – you are a wonderful, amazing person. I want you to make the most of your second chance. I want you to be happy for you. Not for others. If there is one good thing that can come out of this, then I want it to be your happiness. Make something out of all this. You might think I am upset and angry, that my life is destroyed but yours is not. But I’m more hurt and disappointed. We knew what we were getting into – we have no one else to blame. On the other hand, I am disappointed that all the hopes and dreams we talked about are all put to one side, and I am left to find my way in the world. If I was a rubbish boyfriend to her, then I was a great friend. I owe her that.
So for now, always and forever!

to the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and you simply caught me with your smile.
to the only one who proved to me that I can fall in love once again. After all the heartaches and pain, I was glad to have found an angel in you. I feel like my heart was totally restored like it hasn’t been broken before. There wasn’t any hesitation, no fear that I might get hurt once again.
to the one who accepted me for who and what I truly am. You have always seen me through my heart and I can’t believe that someone like you will love me for who I am. I am nobody compared to you. I was so lucky that you chose me. I felt like I was the happiest man in the world. You are someone so beautiful inside and out, someone who has her eyes on me and only me.
to the one who taught me how to dream again. You made plans for both of us. I started dreaming too. We are looking forward to having a bright future ahead of us and that’s something I will never forget about you.

But somehow, that dream has lead us to where we are now. That dream has turned my world upside down. That dream that pushed me further away from you. That dream that made me turn my back on you.

In as much as I would want you to just be near me, I know I have to let you go. Even if it means that my dream of being with you would be shattered. It feels like as if it were only yesterday when you told me how much you love me. And chasing after your dream is for both of us, that we have to sacrifice being far away from each other, that soon we will be together once again.
It feels like in an instant, everything has changed. You shut me out. You ignored my pleas. You ignored how I feel. Please don’t ever think that I haven’t done enough to follow you there. God knows how much I wanted to be with you. God knows how I long each day for you to just be in my arms, to protect you from your pain.

Now I have to say goodbye because this is what destiny wants. And it’s getting harder everyday accepting the fact that rest of my life I will be without you. It’s like something is tearing me up inside every time I remember you. I’m seeing you in a crowd. I’m smelling your scent from nowhere. Everything I see in my surroundings reminds me of you. Every song that I hear is about you. I couldn’t possibly know how I can move on when everything is all about you.

But then again, I have to say goodbye because this is the right thing to do. God knows how much I wanted you to be happy. But I have to accept that I am not the one who could give you the happiness that you desire. You have stayed in my heart for so long. And now, I have to break it so you can finally go out. So you can be happy. My heart had been broken so now you’re free.

But there will always be a feeling of what if? What could have been? Maybe one day that will happen. Maybe it never will. But either way I will always be at your side without question. You are my friend. And you always will be.

I am yours forever
Love Me



The love never ended but the relation did. This was what Bill wrote last to her, the only beautiful girl. After a year passed since Bill left all of us forever. On his first ‘death’ tribunal ceremony she chose to share this part of the letter he wrote.